When Spiritual Relationships Go Awry ? Part III | The Gentle Self

One prevalent desire for many students, male or female, whether they have affairs with their teachers or not, is the wish to be special to the teacher.

A close relationship with an idealized authority figure makes the student special by affiliation. It almost doesn?t matter whether the relationship is physically sexual, non-physically eroticized, chronically flirtatious, or emotionally intimate on both sides. ?When a woman makes any kind of compromise with inappropriate sexual expression from a man, she yields control over her own intimate?boundaries and begins a dangerous collaboration that can lead to her victimization,? writes psychiatrist Peter Rutter in his book Sex in the Forbidden Zone.

He stresses that inappropriate conduct almost always precludes victimization, because it is typically the man who is in power: He has control over her psychological and spiritual well being. ?The mere presence of sexual innuendo from a man who has power over her can become a barrier to her development. But the most critical damage lies in the silencing of her own voice and the violation of her sense of self.?

Rutter concludes that any sexual behavior by a man in power within what he calls the ?forbidden zone? ? i.e. bosses, coaches, therapists, priests, teachers, professors and so on ? is inherently exploitative of a woman?s trust.

Source: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/gentle-self/2013/04/when-spiritual-relationships-go-awry-part-iii/

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